Author: Dr. John

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FOOLIN’?

I was asked to produce a track for the band 99 Power about the Occupy Movement.  Right.  Exactly what I wanted to do, since everyone in the free world who has even sniffed a guitar is making Occupy songs.  But, this was asked of me by someone near and dear…plus, now he owes me.

Anyway, when I got the rough track of the song, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t a folksy whiner.  The band even suggested I make it rock and roll!  “Yahoo,” said me.  Well, the thing came out tough, and angry, and gutsy.  The band even managed to lyrically deliver the much maligned point of the Occupiers, demanding to know:

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FOOLIN’?”

Very cool, and maybe 99 Power have given the Movement an anthem.

Here are the video, the music track, and the lyrics:

Note from Cheyenne Picardo, the video editor: “My gratitude goes out to all of the protestors, artists, animators, documentarians, and other people who have created the content from which this piece is derived. In making this piece, I tried to pay respectful homage to the global video conversation that is so effectively saturating the Internet. Please feel free to post links to your work in their entirety in the comments section. We’re all in this together. Thank you!”

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FOOLIN’?

Recorded by 99 POWER    Words & Music by James Mee

Who—do—- you— think you’re foolin’?
. . . Do—you—- think you’re foolin’?
Who— do—you—- think you’re foolin’?
. . . Do— you— think you’re foolin’?

Took my job, sent it overseas
Took my house away from me
Savings spent, I’m scrapin’ by
Got caught believin’ in a Wall Street lie

Down-sized is what they call me
Sittin’ here with my college degree
I can’t afford a cup’a Joe
I know what happened, we all know

Who— do—you—- think you’re foolin’?
. . . Do— you— think you’re foolin’?
Who— do—you—- think you’re foolin’?
. . . Do— you— think you’re foolin’?

You stole my life, made a fool of me
Without so much as an apology
I’m livin’ on a wing and a prayer
My shop’s closed down, I got no healthcare

Anger reigns, I still believe
In the things my father taught me
“A man’s as good as his word,” he said
Congress went and kicked me in the head!

Who—do—you—think you’re foolin’? . . .
Do—you—think you’re foolin’?
Who—do—you—think you’re foolin’
Do—you—think you’re foolin’?
Who—do—you
Who—do—you think you’re foolin’
Do— you— think you’re foolin’

You stabbed my heart, made me scream,
with the broken pieces of the American dream

Copyright 2011 Metrostar Music
c/o Publishers’ Licensing Corporation
P.O. Box 5807, Englewood, NJ 07631

PLCAgent@aol.com

Perspective and Gratitude

I got the shot to feel like a 1 percenter the other day. See here in this little town, although pretty affluent, there are people who, like in every town are struggling . There is kind of an unwritten deal here that if you have something you are going to get rid of, and it’s not just trash, you put it out on the curb and someone who can use it will take it.

Now, my dad lives with us and he is recovering from a pretty substantial illness, and one which has left him for the time being, at least, in a position to mostly hang out, lay around, nap with his dog and watch TV. He is absolutely fine with this current lifestyle, so I’m not looking for sympathy, just stating the facts. Besides the occasional walk through the house for exercise as he builds himself back up, TV is the only entertainment he has. Again – don’t misunderstand. Pop could watch TV until the Chinese colonize Mars. And he will watch anything. I ‘ve caught him staring at the Spanish Channel, even though he does’nt understand a word of Spanish. Of course if you have watched the Spanish Channel, you will notice that despite the Latina movement to lose their sexist, misogynistic image, all the women are scantily clad. And so for Pop, understanding the language seems not that important.

Anyway, we figured it would be a nice idea to buy him a new 51 inch flat screen cause the one we had back here where he likes to party was over twenty years old and the picture was out of focus and burning images – basically hard to make out. My son helped me drag out the huge old monster and we – like I explained, put it out on the curb.

The next morning, two women came to the door to make sure the TV was free. I told them it was, and that it worked but it would probably need someone to have a look at it cause the picture was weak. One of the women was so excited, she begged me to hide it so no one else would grab it and then cheered “Merry Christmas to me!” as she scooted excitedly out our driveway to get a truck.

Now, I whine. I try not to, but it’s in my nature from time to time to whine about this thing or that. I whined today. The Eagles got embarrassed by the Patriots, my car got smacked in a parking lot in Baltimore, and I’m whining right now how I could kill you for me being awake after beating myself to a pulp with two out of town concerts this weekend. And so, I want to thank those two women for the God-pie in the face reminding me to shut up, count my blessings – of which I have many, and get on with this beautiful life. I also have a tiny smile thinking of them sitting in front of dad’s old TV. I would like to think that if I ever did become a 1 percenter for real, I would do a lot of giving cause it just feels really cool.

Three Evil and Cowardly Stooges

The Pope, Joe Paterno and Norman Schwartz.  Which one is worse?  Or are they all the same?  I guess we start with who knew what, and how much, and what they did or didn’t do to correct a wrongful thing.

We can assume the Pope knows about pedophile priests, bishops and other church hierarchy.  And we now know that Joe Paterno was told about the sodomy of a young child by one of his coaches.  As for Schwartz, he told an Armed Forces congressional panel he took “personal responsibility” for what occurred in 2009, when soldiers’ body parts went missing and then wound up in a landfill somewhere in Virginia.

The Pope protects the Catholic Church.  Paterno attempted to protect Penn State football, and Schwartz tried to protect the US Air Force.  I smell something missing.  But before getting to that, another assumption must be made.  All three of these guys most definitely are not – were not promoting child abuse.  We can say with almost absolute certainty that these three top guys are not pro man-child sexual relations.  We can also make book on the fact that none of these guys held the victims in any formidable place in the line of importance.  And there is where they all stink as humans.  Along with their power, comes responsibility.  Not one of them stepped up to the plate and took any action until they were hit with the not so glamorous spotlight of exposure.

Did Schwartz fire everyone involved with the unbelievable concept of burning and dumping our hero’s body parts?  Did Joe clean house when given a detailed description of the ugly, unspeakable stuff that was being done to children?  Is the Pope washing clean the stains on the souls of his priests and bishops by turning them over to the policia?  No. No. and No.  Sports reporters rumble on about the Penn State scandal not being about football.  It’s not?  Then what is it about?  We’ve already established Paterno is not pro-ped.  So, why the whitewash?  The Catholic Church denounces the despicable acts, as does the Air Force, but – like Joe – they consider the bigger picture.

Well, my friends, if the bigger picture does not have the victims and their families forefront, then that picture is distorted and plain wrong.

The fact is those violated will never be the same.  Their lives have been changed forever.  The families of the landfill soldiers will look upon our country’s military as a shameless machine that has dishonored their loved ones.  Used them up and tossed them away.

Responsibility is a great word, and an even greater concept, but like so much of the word noise we get from political, corporate, and big religion, it is only that – noise.  These people are essentially lobbyists looking out for themselves and the shadowy upper echelon who pay them.  They are not anything more than that.  Leeches, piranha, bulldozers, sucking dry, eating up and blowing through anything that may prove disruptive to their personal money pots.

Angry Bird

The poverty numbers came out. Without going into specifics, it appears that one out of
every six Americans lives at or under the poverty level. 46 million of our brothers and
sisters simply cannot afford to feed their children, put a decent roof over their heads, or
protect themselves from the cold. In fact the only way many of these people are even still
alive is from Federal assistance and charity organizations, both of which are facing a
Republican assault in their attempt to cut spending. I have an idea. If our politicians
are serious about cutting fat, let them take a look in their own house. (Pun intended). I
did, and here is what I found.
I decided to have a look at how much it costs to fund the Federal government. Not that I
am for disbanding that particular thing, but certainly being somewhat aware of the
misuse of funds. I found this report called the “2010 Detail of Appropriations, Outlays,
and Balances”. This one only deals with the Senate, as there are other financial reports
for the Departments of Treasury, Defense, Commerce, The Post Office, and many others.
However, so sick to my stomach I was after just peeking into the Senate, I couldn’t go on.
You see, for 2010 – for just 100 men and women, we the taxpayers have spent well over
$815 million dollars, and well over $1 billion if all related expenses were taken into
account. Again, this is NOT counting the wars, the billions to nation build, the
Senator’s salaries, and not even the Congress! What it is counting are the following.
Get ready to be pissed.
“Senate Hair Care Revolving Fund”………………..$261,117.19.
“Senate Restaurant Fund”………………………………$72,370.12
“Senate Health And Fitness Facility, Architect Of The Capitol”………….$256,380.37.
“Official Mail Costs, Senate”………………………..$368,801.28.
“Senate Gift Shop Revolving Fund, Senate”…..$2,939,413,53.
“Senate Photographic Studio Revolving Fund, Senate”…………….$798,690.53.
“Senate Recording Studio Revolving Fund, Senate”………………..$1,945,771.10
It gets better. Listed on this “2010 Detail of Appropriations, Outlays, and Balances”
report, under “Contingent Expenses, Senator’s Official Personnel And Office Expense
Account, Senate”, the report states that over $400 million was used for personal and
office expenses of these Senators. Do the math…that works out to $ 4 million per Senator
for personal and office expenses. Tax free, by the way, and with NO LIMIT. The
account that holds this appropriated money gained about $13,600,000 over 2009 –
leaving the ending account balance at $81,448,251.53.
Numbers making you dizzy? Okay, I’ll stop, but here are some more programs you at
least should know about.
“Contingent Expenses, Expenses Of Inquiries And Investigations, Senate”
“Contingent Expenses, Miscellaneous Items, Senate”
“Compensation Of Members And Related Administrative Expenses, Senate”
“Contingent Expenses, Secretary Of The Senate, Senate”
“Contingent Expenses, Sergeant At Arms And Doorkeeper Of The Senate, Senate”
“Settlements And Awards Reserve, Contingent Expenses, Senate”
“Congressional Use Of Foreign Currency, Senate”
“Senate Office Of Public Records, Revolving Fund, Senate”
“Daniel Webster Senate Page Resident Revolving Fund, Senate”
“Salaries And Expenses, Office Of Senate Legal Counsel, Senate”
I know it’s staggering, and I would understand if you think I am exaggerating, so if you
want to look for yourself, here is the link.
The other night at the Tea Party Debate, Wolf Blitzer asked, “If a man decides not to have
health insurance and he takes ill, should we let him die?” Many in the crowd cheered a
loud “YES!”
This is what we have become. We have taken the lead from our leaders and replaced the
“us” with the “me.” We do not have a shot at recovering the America I knew as a
younger man so long as we allow these criminals to continue their political treason, and
so long as we decide to follow in their filthy, corrupt footsteps.

Propaganda Trumps Starvation

Al-Shabaab, another terrorist club, has announced through it’s spokesman, Ali Mohamud Raage, that they are banning aid to Somalia during the famine because the aid organizations are spies and work on political agendas.  Now in a fair world, the Al-Shabaab would be forced to kneel and eat sand until their evil eyes pop out of their fungus invested heads.  But the world is not fair.  Not even close.  So, children are being forced to walk – dehydrated and malnourished for days into Kenya or Ethiopia to find water and food. Some make it, some don’t.

The aid agencies say they are helpless.  Ali Mohamud Raage said,  ‘The UN said that there is famine in Somalia. That is not true. It is a lie and they are politicizing the issue. “We only have drought in Somalia, not famine.”  Conversely, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said : “Nearly 3.7 million people are now in crisis,” . Aid agencies estimate that 10 million people in Kenya, Ethiopia, Djibouti, Uganda and Somalia are at risk of famine.  Ten million people.  I’m going with Ban.

So as not to be completely unreasonable, Al-Shabaab has offered a bargain to the aid agencies.  Of course, no specifics have been presented as to what this bargain entails, and so the UN, The World Food Programme, and Mercy Corps. are waiting around for negotiations.  CNN reports that according to the head of USAID, “President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton have asked us to test Al-Shabaab, if they’re going to provide humanitarian access. We’re going to stand with the United Nations and other partners to make sure that humanitarian organizations can get in and can reach the most affected people.”  What that means is nothing.  Certainly nothing to this satanic offshoot of Al Qaeda.  It’s another tragically, laughable statement that carries no weight whatsoever.  Testing Al-Shabaab?  Are you kidding?

Look, these terrorists are always raiding UN drops.  But there are not 10 million of them.  Let them take their share.  Lift the ridiculous Foreign Asset Control restrictions – imposed of course by the US to prevent aid organizations from operating in areas controlled by Al-Shabaab and just drop more stuff, geniuses.   It’s a famine, and aren’t we supposed to be the good guys with the pure agenda of helping the impoverished?  What else can we do, go to war in Somalia on the premise that people are starving?  If we lead the way, ignoring the rodents and focusing on the really important big picture, helping the suffering masses, maybe the world will once again see us for the altruistic nation we once were.

In the book, The Art of Leadership it is written:  “Advice to a King…In your daily activities, vigorously carry out whatever is right.”

If we are going to be king again, we need to start acting like one.  A good one. We cannot change everyone with military action, but we can change hearts and minds by winning hearts and minds.  If we show the UN and the other humanitarian organizations that we in fact are humanitarians, they will follow in kind.  For once, let’s do the right thing.

Schadenfreude, Just This Once

I normally don’t get giddy happy thoughts and feelings when I see an ultra powerful guy fall from his perch on the top of the world.  Honest.  I suppose I was brought up not to wallow in others misfortune.  Not that I am a saint – far from it.  I just kind of see it as karma and try to use it as a lesson for myself when I screw up or hurt someone.  But, forgive me if I do a river dance over Rupert Murdoch’s tumble.  This is a very nasty man, and he deserves every bit of smelly rot that is being tossed his way.  And the irony is just brilliantly perfect, as Murdoch’s papers thrived on this kind of scandal.  In fact, he’s probably more upset about not being able to cover his own story than the fall of his News Corporation.

Just to be clear, Murdoch, through his papers, more accurately described as tabloids, have – this from an article in the NY Times, lowered the standards of journalism on three continents — and routinely broken the law on at least one of them. He had dumbed down his prestige papers, like The Times of London. He has run roughshod over cross-ownership rules meant to prevent one man or company from having too much power — and then used his lobbying might to get those rules diluted. He has put kowtowing to China ahead of freedom of the press, even killing a book set to be published by his HarperCollins unit – did this guy own EVERYTHING? – that the Chinese authorities objected to. He has consistently used his media properties to reward allies and punish enemies.

He also gave us Fox News, the tabloid TV outlet that Canada refused to give broadcast rights because in Canada there is a law prohibiting news shows from lying. I did not make that up.  Murdoch’s ugliness allowed, even prompted his minions to do such things as hack into the  phones of murdered teenagers, families of victims of  9-11, and former Prime Minister Gordon Brown, where Rebekah Brooks called Brown to tell him the Sun was about to print that his infant child had cystic fibrosis.  That was the kind of news Murdoch and his dark crew feasted on.

Powerful enough to even bring down the big boys at Scotland Yard, an institution I always considered ranking up there with our FBI and Israel’s Mossad.  So, yeah.  I’m all smitten right now, especially after reading a piece from CNN that ultra-hackers Lulz Security got in and wrecked Murdoch’s Sun paper and his News International website and his Times of London.  I’m also not keen on hackers, but in this case, I’m giving Lulz a couple of thumbs up.  Let the weasel taste the bitter ugliness of being invaded.

We will have to wait and see what – if any punishment Murdoch gets.  But for now, being outed and paraded publicly for the terrible man he is works for me.

Econ 101, or Just Con 101?

In the wake of this whole debt ceiling circus, I was kind of shocked – in a humorous way of course, to learn that there is a credit rating company that actually can ruin the United States of America’s credit score.  How weird is that?  Didn’t you guys think the USA would be immune to a bunch of slug lawyers and accountants who have the power to deny the US a MasterCard?  Does this mean that Bernanke logs on to Free Credit Report.com every day?

Feeling like a real dope, I had to look into this, and it seems that there are actually three of these companies that research and analyze international finances on government agencies.  Now it seems that the big one, called Moody’s Corporation, is  considering downgrading the USA’s triple A rating because of the possibility that the debt limit will not be raised in time.  Plus, any financial institutions connected with the government -  that would be Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Federal Home Loan Banks, and Federal Farm Credit Banks, are also being reviewed for downgrade. And if that ain’t enough, Moody’s has also placed on review for possible downgrade pre-refunded municipal bonds, certain housing bonds that are supported or guaranteed by the US government, and other municipal ratings that are directly linked to the rating of the US government. Bonds issued by the governments of Israel and Egypt that are guaranteed by the US government were also placed on review for possible downgrade.   Man, that’s an awful lot of power!

Given that I don’t have the slightest clue of a clue about economics, cause basically it’s pretty boring stuff compared to say, the NFL, MLB, and the Deadliest Catch crabbing show, I had to look up the ramifications of international bad credit.   A credit rating reflects the risk of default.  There could be a massive outflow of foreign investment since some global funds are mandated to invest only in AAA debt and if the U.S. loses its AAA rating‚ it loses those investors.  A credit rating downgrade provides a perfect excuse for an alternative reserve currency to replace the dollar. China‚ Russia and other countries are already suggesting creating a “basket of currencies” that would replace the U.S. dollar.  Interest rates will increase as will risk of inflation. Philadelphia Federal Reserve President Charles Plosser cautions, “History shows us that you can get very bad economic outcomes with rapidly rising inflation.”  Okay, I kind of understand all that.  But, I also understand that every coin has two sides, and I really understand blackmail.

It seems in the early 1970s, S&P, Moody’s, and Fitch began receiving payment for their ratings by the securities issuers for whom they issue those ratings. Also, according to The Institute for Individual Investors, Moody’s had offered German insurer Hannover Re a “free rating”. When the insurer refused the gift, Moody’s continued with the “free ratings” anyway, but gradually lowered its rating of the company.  The German insurer continued refusing Moody’s services, so Moody’s lowered Hannover’s debt to Junk, causing the company to lose $175 million in market value in a couple of hours.  And, finally, Wall Street veteran, Chris Rowe writes, “I started underwriting big bond deals for one company that we eventually took public.  The CEO of the security issuer suggested we remind prospective investors that the bonds would eventually be given a “nice rating” by credit agencies like Moody’s, which would push the bond’s prices higher and put the firm in a better capital position.  I asked how I could possibly say that (as it seemed illegal), only to find out that the only thing the firm had to do was PAY THE RATING AGENCIES and BOOM!  Instant credit worthiness, instant price movement, and instant exposure for the company itself.”

I was right.  This economics stuff is so corrupt, crab fishing in the Bering Sea is literally a breath of honest, fresh air.  I prefer it and the people involved in it to the thousand dollar suited mobsters that make even our politicians look like innocents.  I don’t like it.  I don’t get it.  I don’t want to get it.  I won’t participate in it.  Call me a dreamer, but I will invest myself in my family, the blue sky and the yellow sun.

Bachmann Clinic Cynic

I want to go to the Bachmann Clinic.  I really do.  It seems like such a bizarre and surreal place, and I have already taken the kids to Disney World.  My guess is this place makes Disney look like an actual real life town.  The only problem is that I’m not gay, and so I probably wouldn’t get to see the really good rides.

The Bachmann Clinic is owned and operated by presidential candidate Michele and her husband, Marcus.  It’s a Christian counseling service that specializes in turning gay people inside out.  Honest.  Since Crazy Michele believes that gay is a life choice, she and the hubby put their egg yolk noggins together and came up with this brilliant scheme, focusing on nutty Christian extremist parents I’m sure, who want their evil gay kids fixed.  For at least five years, writes CNN, Bachmann and Associates has faced accusations it uses a controversial therapy that encourages gay and lesbian patients to change their sexual orientation. Andrew Ramirez, a former patient at Bachmann and Associates, said in an interview with CNN he witnessed the practice first-hand. In 2004, Ramirez turned to the clinic at the urging of his mother who wanted him to talk about his homosexuality.  Okay, right off the bat, I’m thinking A Clockwork Orange with poor Malcom McDowell strapped in, eyes taped open, and forced to watch ultra-violence film clips.  Thankfully, the Bachmann program is not that creatively dramatic.

The so-called therapy consists of three stages, according to Mr. Ramirez.  Stage One, prayer.  Praying to God for a miracle, Rameriz was told would make him un-gay.  Stage Two, reading Bible passages,  and Stage Three, mentoring with an ex-lesbian minister.  If none of that worked, Ramirez said the counselor had another suggestion. “Not acting out on my same sex attractions and living a life of celibacy.” Ah, the Nancy Reagan model of just say no.

Now, besides the absurdity, and the very sad implications of guilt, wrong doing, and even mental illness lopped onto these poor folks who, for whatever reason participate in this harebrained, and I must say, dangerous program, there are for me, some ethical and legal questions.

Checking Marcus Bachmann’s credentials, it seems that he graduated from some diploma mill that no longer exists.  That being the case, how did he get licensed to practice as a counselor?  Simple.  He didn’t.  Seems that Minnesota does not require any licensing for counseling therapy.  No wonder Michele wants the government to stay out of our business.  The American Psychological Association, a club of which I once was a member,  is sharply critical of efforts by counselors to change a patient’s sexual orientation, citing “There is insufficient evidence to support the use of psychological interventions to change sexual orientation.”  But Mr. Bachmann countered brilliantly. “I think you clearly say what is the understanding of God’s word on homosexuality. We have to understand barbarians need to be educated. They need to be disciplined and just because someone feels it or thinks it doesn’t mean we’re supposed to go down that road,” he continued.  Barbarians need to be disciplined. What?  Then, when pressed – in other words, when the media also said “What?”, Michele’s campaign conveniently used the very ethical conditions the Bachmann Clinic ignores.  “The Bachmann’s are in no position ethically, legally, or morally to discuss specific courses of treatment concerning the clinic’s patients,” the statement said.  Beautiful.  She really should be in the mob.  “You got nuttin on me, I’m a legitimate business owner.”

I am making light of this, because…well, I make light of everything since everything has gone to crap, and it’s my personal survival method.  But make no mistake, this is a very dangerous practice the Bachmann’s are involved in, and it is only a question of time until one of their clients – upon failing the program, and thus being cast down by God and parents, will become a suicide statistic.

Shame on you people.

Dr. John or Ron Paul; You Decide

LK here.  The following transcript of Dr. John’s rant last night was delivered on air at around 7:25pm EST.  There’s no way that Ron Paul, in the live Republican debate that followed at 8:00pm EST, might have been influenced by the piece.  Is there?

Here’s an idiotic question I saw in the CNN poll this morning.  “Is it time for the US to pull out of Afghanistan?”  HAHAHAHAHA!  The poll numbers indicate that 83% of Americans said – to use a Palin-ism,  “You betcha.”

We should also leave Pakistan, any military interest in Bahrain, Syria, Libya, and basically anyplace that is NOT the US!  I need to repeat… IT AINT WORKING!!!! We are not responsible for multi-culturizing the friggin world!!!!  Even China is realizing that it’s not getting much help from its new friends. Pakistan’s prime minister, Yousaf Raza Gilani, may have embarrassed the United States by praising China to the skies during a recent visit. But he also embarrassed Beijing by asserting that China has offered to build a naval base for Pakistan at Gwadar, close to the Gulf of Oman, to which China would have access. While this was probably an exaggeration, according to the Times, it touched Indian nerves.  Plus, China’s got its own problems as the Arab Spring seems to be spreading, sending hundreds of migrant workers into the streets rioting to the extent that the Chinese cops had to roll out their tanks and other people- muffle stuff to break it up.

So, how long ya think before China realizes that these lunatic fanatics are probably not the best guys to have on your side?  China is smart… ain’t they?  I mean I thought they were smart.  They invented spaghetti for god sake.

It must be, then, a scam.  China trying to make the US jealous.  Right?  And guess what?  As long as we play kissy face with the mutts in any of the “stans,” China is going to keep playing the new lover.

What part of all this do the geniuses in DC not get?  Want to start climbing out of the fiscal nightmare?  Stop the wars.  Want to stop killing our young men and women who are dying for absolutely no reason?  Stop the wars.  You know what?  The guy who is going to win the next presidential election is the guy who records this show and repeats this piece verbatim.  Troops home to protect our borders, take our noses out of everyone’s business and rebuild what Bush and Obama have destroyed.

Never gonna happen.  Obama is a nice guy, but just a windbag.  An intellectual windbag, but a windbag just the same.  Bush and his crew should be tried as war criminals, but that ain’t gonna happen either.  So where are we?  Where is our choice, our input to salvage our beloved country?  Voting?  For who?????

The only guy saying anything close to getting out of there is Ron Paul and the powers that be will destroy him in a heartbeat by presenting him as another version of Ross Perot, which he may well be.  The latest CNN poll tells us that Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin – who hasn’t even declared yet -  are at the top of the heap.  They are followed by also undeclared Rudy Giuliani. Then in a breathtaking tie is the guy who was in charge of Godfathers Pizza and crazy Newt Gingrich.

The only sort of good news is that Crazier-than-Newt, Michelle Bachmann is down in the basement with Tim Pawlenty and Homophobe, Rick Santorum.

Feeling sick in your tummy?  Kurt Vonnegut said, “There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.”

Weiner: The Interview of the Lambs

LK here: following is the transcript of Dr. John’s piece from the 6/8/11 show.  It’s rare to find someone who’s both a wicked satirist and a Doctor of Psychology, but we got lucky.  Enjoy.

This story is not going away.  The Anthony Weiner story.  Why is it not going away?  Cause it’s just too much fun to follow.  In the midst of the North African and Middle Eastern parts of the world falling apart, a story like this is an hilarious break.  Let’s face it.  What damage has been done, really?  It’s not like this guy is worth anything.  He’s a Congressman!  Like all representatives, he spends approximately 84% of his time on trying to get reelected.  In this case, if we break down the pie chart, seems fair to say 10% went to internet sexting, and  5% to phone sex.  Do the math.  That leaves Mr. Weiner with 1% to devote to things congressional. Pretty typical.

I have no credentials that would allow me to get near this guy, much less interview him, and so I am going to present some burning questions that to me at least, are important in that they will provide even more color to this already abstract, surreal painting.

Question 1.  Congressman, Doctor John from the Loose Kannon Show.  Sir, why is it that only geeks and professional body builders shave their chests?
Question 2.  How long did it take before you were satisfied enough with the size of your protruding member to take the picture?
Question 3.  Sir, do you have any really promiscuous pictures of the beautiful Mrs. Weiner, and if so would you be willing to share them?
Question 4.  Have you been contacted by CNN to host a show yet?
Question 5.  When the recordings of your phone sex with Vegas blackjack dealer, Lisa Weiss come out, will they be available on CD?
Question 6.  I have a follow up question, sir.  Since the phone used for your sex chats was in fact an official U.S. Congress line, can I write the calls off on my taxes under miscellaneous expense?
Question 7.  When your wife files for divorce and gets the house and cars and all the good stuff, will you fight to keep your camera, barbells and body shaver?
My Final Question:  Sir, Mr. Congressman…Do you think you could take Wolf Blitzer in a no holds barred mixed martial arts match?

Okay.  Once again, I know I am having a ball with this cretin, but that’s what they are for.  Fun.  They most certainly are not good for anything else, like  say, running the country.  For example, Obama is for birth certificate fun.  Newt and Edwards are for hypocrisy fun. Palin is for stupidity fun.  Rick Santorum is for homophobic fun, and  John Ensign and Anthony Weiner are now joined forever at the groins for sexual and lying fun.

To quote Anthony Hopkins in his role as Hannibal Lecter, “What is worst about this humiliation Clarice? Is it how your failure will reflect on your mommy and daddy? Is your worst fear that people will now and forever believe they were indeed just good old trailer camp tornado bait white trash and that perhaps you are too?  Goody, goody.”