Dr. John’s Election Reflections

I learned three important things from the election:

 1.  Diane Sawyer is an alcoholic or doper…but probably just alcoholic. 

2.  Senator Colleen Lachowicz is a hard core gamer.

3.  You will be arrested if you get caught with pot in the two states that legalized it.

 Let’s start there.  Just cause you may live in Washington state or Colorado, doesn’t mean you can light a doob without fear of getting popped.  See, Federal law beats State law…kind of like Full House beats a Flush.  In a snarky, but cute statement, Gov. John Hickenlooper said,  “Federal law still says marijuana is an illegal drug, so don’t break out the Cheetos or Goldfish too quickly.” Couple that with the almost covert -lying-in-wait statement made by the Washington State LCB: “officials are waiting anxiously to find out what federal law enforcement authorities plan to do: They have been silent.”  The Justice Department says it is evaluating the measures., and if I were you, I’d continue cupping.

 On to the gamer Senator.  A World of Warcraft gamer vanquished her offline foe on Tuesday — capturing a Maine state Senate seat despite attacks on her online alter ego.  Democrat Colleen Lachowicz – known online as an Orc Assassin Rogue named “Santiaga” — defeated Republican Sen. Thomas Martin to win a seat representing Maine’s Senate District 25, the Bangor Daily News reported.  Republicans tried to bury her using the fact that she has a hobby that, I guess they figure is too bizarre for a government official.  That’s funny, seeing that many government officials hobbies are prostitution, and pedophilia.

And finally, Diane Sawyer. Headline: TV viewers wonder: Was ABC News’ Diane Sawyer drunk during Election Night live coverage? Propped up on her elbows and seeming to slur her speech, the normally straight-laced anchor rambled through her sentences, laughing and used exaggerated hand movements, prompting many to wonder if the ‘ABC World News’ anchor was drunk on live television.  I certainly hope so!  Imagine trying to dance through that bogus election coverage straight.  Besides, Sawyer’s a pro, so if she was drunk I’m betting it was on some seriously expensive Scotch whiskey. 

This is Dr. John for the Robbie Student Show.